My theory on writing bad essays is, if you're going to do it (write a bad essay), the least you can do is keep it short. Not only will this save you time writing it, but it will also lessen your teacher/prof's suffering in having to read it. Hopefully s/he will be more inclined to reward your efforts to reduce their torment by marking your paper more generously.
(Can you tell I just finished writing an extremely sucky paper?)
