Although, it might not make a big difference, considering that I actually knew this was coming, and I still felt the full impact of it anyway. Skim down, though, since I've got stuff written after the spoiler!!
Start spoiler.
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Man, I'm halfway through Kodocha ep. 60 and I want to cry, it's so sad! Maybe it's bad that I stopped halfway through to write this, but I didn't want to lose the emotion, so I paused. Besides, it was pretty sad, so I wanted to have some time to recover. I'm such a sap, I don't know why it affects me so much, but I could really feel the pain when Hayama told Sana that he was dating Fuka. Guess that's what makes it such a great show, it's ability to touch your heart. Even now, when I think about it, I can still feel a little pang.
ARGH! I know (REALLY HOPE) that Hayama and Sana will eventually get together, but I hate the amount of pain that they, well, maybe she will have to go through first. ::sniff sniff:: Even in a tv show, "the course of love ne'er did run smooth" I guess. BOO! It's so frustrating!!
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End spoiler.
It's funny though, because most of my all-time favourite series (like Kodocha) are drama shoujos that involve lots of romantic heartbreak. So, even though I feel like I've been through a total emotional wringer at the end of a series, I still love watching them.
It kind of makes me feel like a ghost. Eh. That's not the right word at all, but what I mean is that I sort of float through life; I've never been in love (later edit: where did that come from?!? must be from watching too much shoujo... ^^;;), I've only rarely really felt any extreme ups or downs, except through anime. Maybe that's why anime is so special to me, which is great, but at the same time, it makes me feel...distant. I know that I must have deep feelings, because otherwise even superbly done anime wouldn't be able to touch me the way it does, but I'd kind of like to feel the same depth of feeling in my real life too. Sure, it would probably be more of the painful feelings than ecstatic ones, but at least then I'd know that I'm really living. And it's not that I want an emotional rollercoaster everyday all the time either, but... ::shakes head:: It's hard to explain.
I wonder how much others feel this too? How often do we stop and look beyond the essentially empty little things that fill our time and give us temporary enjoyment or pleasure, but not true joy? Why can I care so much about anime characters, but not my own life? Looking out the window, at the grey sky, the wind blowing in the trees, the raindrops on my window...I really wonder...
