Well, the long overdue accounting has just taken place, and I now realize exactly how much my Visa Bill will be this month. It's not pretty. ^^;; I've had my credit card for eight or nine months now, and I've never had a problem with overdoing it, until this month. I lay the blame squarely on ebay, Paypal, and my own lack of self-control.
You see, if I hadn't discovered ebay, I wouldn't have been tempted to spend money on cds and miscellanea, because I've already got a huge list of dvds, manga, and figures that I'm supposed to buy over the next four or five months. Then, if I hadn't been able to sign up for Paypal, I would at least have been less tempted to purchase things on ebay, because it's a real hassle to get money orders, or US cash, and to mail it. Not to mention that cash should be sent by registered mail, which is quite expensive. But no, Paypal makes paying for auctions quick and easy. Finally, there's my practically non-existent self-control, at least when it comes to anime. I mean, I have no problem skimping on food, clothes, or even books, but I'm a downright spendthrift when it comes to anime. *sigh*
Yeah, I realize that my current dilemma is completely of my own making, and that, as a result, I don't have much justification for whining, but nonetheless... ARGH!!! Why am I so weak?!? Why do all the things that I want to buy become available on ebay at the same time?!
It's really sad, because I just had this conversation on the Anime Nation forum about being careful not to let possessions overshadow God in your life. Looking at my crazy ebay spending really makes me wonder how I could let something pass through my mind so quickly? I mean, it's not that I read the posts and didn't think about it. I did. I really reflected on it.
Well, hopefully having to pay my Visa bill at the end of this month will teach me a lesson, or at the very least, diminish the appeal/temptation of ebay. I mean, not only do I already have three hundred dollars budgeted for anime stuff (that is, stuff that's *not* on ebay), there's also a convention this month, Anime North! Sure, last year I went on a bit of a spending spree before AN, but I still saved money so that I could buy stuff there. With the amount I'm going to have to spend on my Visa bill this month, I'll be lucky if I can even pay for food and parking at AN this year! It's really that bad. ^^;;
I think I should give my offering very soon. Ironically, money always seems to be tighter when I don't give offering than when I tithe ten percent like I'm supposed to. It has something to do with trusting in God, I guess. He can't really bless you until you trust him to do so and give up your money with faith that he'll provide.
Man, I just hope I don't get yelled at, when my parents see my Visa bill. I mean, I already know that it was not good for me to spend so carelessly, I don't really need them to make me feel even worse than I already do.
Sorry, this is kind of a pathetic, depressing post. I'll get over it, really.
