I've always wanted to be the type of person people would want to go to when they're feeling down. It hurts to see others suffering, especially friends and loved ones, and I wish I could do more to help ease the pain. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm really the type who inspires confidences. It's not, or so I hope, that I seem untrustworthy, it's just that, well, I guess I've always been kind of distant. Really, it's quite strange, but as much as I emphasize and sympathize with people, I can't actually take too much contact with them. ^^;; A social butterfly I am not. More often than not, after an intense period of socializing (at a party, casual get together, whatever), i need to have some quality alone time.
Anyway, the result of my anti-socialness, or so I would guess, is that I am quite incapable of dealing with anything but the most normal and routine of human emotions. Even on those rare opportunities that I am presented with to comfort someone, I totally flub it. ^^;; Once a very close friend of mine shared something with me and actually had to tell me that "most people would offer me a hug right around now." Of course, once that was said, the time for offering a comforting hug was ended. I felt so awful after that. It wasn't even a matter of my not being a particularly "huggy" person, it was simply that I had absolutely no clue how to act in such a situation! I can't find the right words, and I'm afraid of saying the wrong ones, so I usually end up saying very little or nothing at all and just nodding sympathetically.
Despite my total ineptness at comforting, however, a friend recently told me that my presence is enough. Ironically, that probably comforted me more than whatever meagre comfort I managed to provide my friend. Still, it was encouraging to know that sometimes your intentions are enough. Most of the time, in this world, it's only the end results that matter, and not the meaning behind it, but in this case, even though I failed to produce any meaningful, comforting words, my being there for my friend was enough, and I'm very thankful for that.
